Superficiality

I had lunch with one of my co workers today. Most people I work with know I'm gay so it's not a big deal. We were talking rather openly about dating and what we look for. The topic turned to looks.

I think we all like to think that we are "above the fray" and are not superficial. But often, it's the rather homely among us that have the best hearts. We got to talking about past dating and so forth and we each came to the conclusion that we both have a superficial gene. We don't like admitting to it. He's straight and owned up to never dating any girl that he didn't perceive early on to be "hot". On the gay end, I have to admit that I can't say much different. I have a couple of past ex's who are probably not "hot", but by and large, they are. One notable exception to the rule has his own blog on here; now he's a homely homely homely boy. Just kidding Will, I know how you like to think these journals are all about you.

Anyway, why is it that you tend to see only attractive people together. Are they all superficial? When two unattractive people are together, is it because they are not superficial; or is it because they don't have the same options?

When I initially see someone, that's what I notice. I admit it. I don't see much else. I have no idea what is in their heart or mind. I don't know what kind of conversation they are capable of. What I know is whether they are "hot". Now, in my defense, that doesn't usually last long. Once I meet them, they'd better strike me as something more than that or they'll be gone. Especially if they are an ass; when someone is arrogant or hateful, they lose their appearance completely and quickly with me.

But what if the ultimate person is someone I would not notice? How would I know if I don't give them the chance? Right now, I'm going out with someone. He's , well, you guessed it, HOT. He's a bit out of my league. Now I have to ask, would I be dating him if he was not? Would I have noticed him to begin with? I kinda doubt it. I met him in a crowd. I saw a friend with him and thought "wow, I think he's cute", so I decided to catch up with the friend he was talking to while they were still yacking. I doubt I'd have done that otherwise; and then I'd have not met Chris.

Oh well, I'm not wrapping this up in a bow and giving an opinion. I'm just thinking out loud and wondering what it says about myself and others.