Bad thoughts

Do you ever have thoughts pop into your head that bother you? I think everyone occasionally blurts something out of their mouth that is not well thought out; I could write an encyclopedia of times I've done that. But today I'm rambling about thoughts that jump into your head, no verbalization at all.

The thing that jumped into my head that made me do a double take on myself was a CNN blurb on Jerry Falwell. I loathe him and every right wing thing he stands for. I think he knows better and is a fake. He uses anything, especially gays, as a scare tactic to get his mostly poor white trash audience to send in money. Often this money is from simple folk who don't know better; people that probably live in a shell so to speak and listen to whatever the preacher man say. I'll leave the tele-tubbie thing alone for now, it speaks for itself.

The moment in question was a couple of weeks ago. I saw this blurb on CNN that said he was in critical condition the hospital. There was no conscious thought process going on, I just immediately thought to myself, "Oh Thank God, I hope he dies". Then I felt horrible for thinking that about anyone. It seems to me that a civilized, compassionate person that I aspire to be and like to think I am would not have a thought like that.

I guess there's no way to wrap it up in a bow. I don't want to be fake and say I decided that I wanted him to do well and preach on; I just felt bad about thinking that to begin with. Which of course brings one to the hypothetical question of "how much is it safe to hate someone?".